'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the land   
No spider was stirring, just a dismembered hand.
The slime, it was slung ‘cross the gravestones with care,
In hopes that the humans soon would be there.

The zombies had waken from deep earthy beds,
As visions of brains had swelled in their heads.
One decked in muck, another in crud,
Both stumbled ‘round on the scent of our blood.

And when they heard bustle, they knew they’d reached town,
and moved to the streets where the live ones are found.
They moved not in hurry, trekking stiffly instead,
But YOU try and be limber as you walk when you're dead.

And I in my bedroom went to the window to see
The glow of the moon on the snow floating free.
But what to my wondering eyes should appear,
a great mob of zombies, wandering nearer!

Their movements weren’t lively, they sure were not quick,
Their shambling gaits were crooked and crick’d.
And he in the front most ghastly of all,
rotting and clotting and moaning a drawl!

BRRRAAAIINNNS!!
BRRRAAAIINNNS!!
BRRRAAAIINNNS!!
BRRRAAAIINNNS!!

And just as rocks tremble in a giant earthquake,
My knees and my elbows had started to shake.
So under my bed I managed to fly,
The zombies were coming, and me, I knew why!

And then in a moment, I heard at my door
The scratching, the clawing, the creak of the floor.
As I drew in my head and had quivered my chin,
They pushed through my door and shuffled right in.

They were covered in gore from their heads to their feet
And their clothes were all ragged and rugged and beat
They held not a thing though their arms were extended;
They looked hungry and weary and slightly distended.

Their eyes were discolored! Their bruises how merry!
Each cheek was all hallowed, each nose scarred and scary!
The drool on their mouths as their jaws were hung low,
The hair on their heads like an oil-slicked crow.

One had a fingernail lodged in his teeth,
Which clung to a grime both above and beneath.
He had goop on his face, and goop on his belly
As if he just slurped down a bowlful of jelly.

Wasn’t chubby, or plump, or jolly at all,
I gasped when I saw him and prepared for the maul!
A disjointed twitch and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know it was pointless to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And chomped on my hand, then turned with a jerk.
He laid my loose finger aside of his nose,
I gave him a nod and he began on my toes.

Then slowly I stammered onto rickety limbs,
now intrigued by the humans singing holiday hymns.
And my leader proclaimed in a kind-hearted grunt
“[Happy Christmas to all] LET’S HUNNNNT!!”